


Golden

by malevolentmango



Series: Taakitz Week 2018 [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Taakitz Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-08 17:27:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14110380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malevolentmango/pseuds/malevolentmango
Summary: The Soulmate Database exists for the sole purpose of increasing your chances of finding a single golden needle in a very populous haystack.Kravitz still hates that analogy, but Istus smiles widely every time she sees it on the website header, which means Raven keeps it there. Raven will do just about anything to make Istus smile.Well, he supposes he doesn't mind it that much. If his soulmate loved him even half as much as they love each other, he'd act just the same way.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For Day 2 of Taakitz Week - Modern AU
> 
> Honestly it was only a matter of time before I wrote a soulmate AU let's be real.

The Soulmate Database exists for the sole purpose of increasing your chances of finding a single golden needle in a very populous haystack.

 

Kravitz still hates that analogy, but Istus smiles widely every time she sees it on the website header, which means Raven keeps it there. Raven will do just about anything to make Istus smile.

 

Well, he supposes he doesn't mind it _that_ much. If his soulmate loved him even half as much as they love each other, he'd act just the same way.

 

“Kravitz, dear! Are you coming to lunch with us?”

 

Kravitz startles and swivels around in his chair. Raven's ability to catch people unawares is legendary, and even 28 years in her company isn't enough to make Kravitz immune to it.

 

He shoots a perfunctory glance at his calendar - the Thursday column is empty except for a video call with a prospective couple at 4:30.

 

“Sorry, mom,” he says. “I'm getting lunch with Taako.”

 

“Goodness, is it Thursday already?” Istus says, coming up behind Raven with both of their purses slung over one arm. “Where has the week gone? Well, tell him hello from us.”

 

“I always do.”

 

Kravitz waves to them as they head to the elevator and goes back to work. Fifteen minutes later, his phone buzzes, and he pulls up the company time clock page to clock out before he even reads the message.

 

**you know ;)**

_12:45 p.m._

lunch @ metro ur buying

i’ll make it worth ur while

 

**Kravitz**

_12:46 p.m._

Made too many blintzes again?

 

**you know ;)**

_12:46 p.m._

don't call me out like this

see you in 10

 

Kravitz smiles. As planned, he'll have just enough time to walk there.

 

* * *

 

_When Kravitz agrees to take the job his parents offer him at the Soulmate Database, everyone jokes about fate being a family business. After all, it only makes sense that the son of Raven and Istus - one of the most popular soulmate success stories, a story they built a whole career out of - should follow in their footsteps and help the next generation find their perfect match._

 

_It isn't the job he wants._

 

_He studied music in college, but it's hard to stand out in an industry that values the muse over the musician, the love story over the composition. Kravitz doesn't have his soulmate as a selling point when so many others do, and taking a job at his parents’ company is a better option than freeloading. Not that they would ever call it that._

 

_But he finds value in it. Kravitz likes taking the personal approach; he'll spend hours matching up soul marks in the database and calling up members personally to set up first meetings. It's never easy, or boring, and he counts himself thankful for that. It could be worse._

 

_Sometimes, though. Sometimes it's hard to be surrounded by all the reminders of what he can't have, to smile as he watches a pair's eyes meet for the first time, as that connection is made._

 

_Sometimes, it's almost unbearable._

 

* * *

 

The Metro Diner is a weird mix of greasy spoon and upscale hipster aesthetic that had, at first glance, made little sense to Kravitz. The food is hearty, typical diner food but always with a touch of something extra - spice where you're not expecting it, sweetness where something should be sour, coffee that's both bitter and sweet without being too much of either.

 

Taako's leaning against the wall outside the door, a bag of what Kravitz assumes are blintzes clutched in one hand.

 

He used to make very little sense to Kravitz, too.

 

“You're late,” Taako says by way of greeting.

 

Kravitz raises an eyebrow. “You're early. A miracle.”

 

Taako squints at him, then yanks his phone out of his pocket to check the time. The tips of his ears go ever so slightly red.

 

“And yet, somehow still more fashionable than you.”

 

Kravitz ignores this, instead going to hold open the door to the diner for Taako. He murmurs “Guess you were just excited to see me” as Taako passes by him, and grins in triumph when he receives no snappy comeback in response.

 

They sit at their usual table, and Taako slides the bag across the surface towards him before craning his head to examine the specials board. Kravitz peeks inside. Cheese danishes. He was close.

 

“Your clientele must be even more unpredictable than I thought if you can’t even move some cheese danishes,” Kravitz says, and this time he’s got a front row seat for the blush that brightens Taako’s cheeks.

 

They come to the diner because Taako insists that after spending all morning at his restaurant, the last thing he wants to do is cook himself lunch too. Ren handles the lunch rush, giving Taako a break before the legendary dinner services that made him so popular in Neverwinter. When Taako’s restaurant first started opening for breakfast too, he told Kravitz that he was having a hard time getting a handle on what the locals wanted in a breakfast place, that it was taking him a while to refine the menu. It’s easier, he said, to just bring Kravitz the leftovers, because he could never get the portions right.

 

Of course, that was two years ago. Taako’s restaurant is more stable and successful than ever, but they still pretend that’s the only reason Taako bakes too much every single Thursday.

 

* * *

 

_Taako’s tongue is loose with liquor, and he curls up against Kravitz’s side at one of Lup’s infamous college parties, whispering things in Kravitz’s ear that make him very glad no one can ever tell when he’s blushing. Taako gets like this when he’s drunk, sometimes - handsy, giggling, too honest by far._

 

_“Who needs a--a soulmate anyway,” Taako says, abandoning his attempts to rile Kravitz up in favor of leering at him like a cat waiting to pounce. “I’ve got you.”_

 

 _Kravitz_ wants.

 

_“But--Taako, come on,” Kravitz says, as Taako leans in to nibble at his jaw. Taako pouts but backs off, snatching his drink off the table. “Don't you want to know who your soulmate is?”_

 

_“I've got Lup,” Taako scoffs, as if offended by the very idea of someone being more important to him than his sister. Across the room, Lup shotguns a beer and smashes the can against her forehead to a round of uproarious applause. “And anyway, I don't need some dude getting all clingy just because he thinks the universe is telling him I belong to him.”_

 

_“That's not how--”_

 

_“I mean I know it's like, your family’s thing or whatever,” he adds, actually managing to sound a little bit sincere, much to Kravitz’s surprise. “But it's not for me, you know?”_

 

_“...Yeah, Taako. I got it.”_

 

_The next morning, Taako apologizes for being an ass, but shrugs when Kravitz asks if his opinion on soulmates was just the alcohol talking. Kravitz kisses him goodbye at the door, because he’s strong when it counts, but sometimes he can’t resist the way Taako leans in with barely-disguised hope, pushing their little game just a little bit further._

 

* * *

 

“Everyone went crazy for the omelettes this morning. It was weird, like some kind of egg apocalypse.”

 

“Sounds messy.”

 

They put in their orders and Taako fiddles with his paper napkin. Kravitz is sorely tempted to reach across the table and take his hand.

 

“How ‘bout the Database?” Taako asks. “No apocalypses over there?”

 

Kravitz stares at him. “Not recently. The moms say hi by the way.” A smile flashes across Taako's face, and he nods. Kravitz tries to keep the bitterness out of his voice, to moderate success. “I thought you didn't care about the whole soulmate thing.”

 

Taako shrugs. “It’s your job, my dude. Just making small talk.”

 

“You don't care about small talk either,” Kravitz says with a little grin.

 

Taako tears a corner off his napkin and crumples it between two fingers. “Maybe I'm more curious than I used to be.”

 

Kravitz swallows, trying not to let the sudden rush of hope that floods him show on his face.

 

“It's going well,” he says. “I've got a video call this afternoon with a new couple, actually. They live on opposite sides of Faerun so this is the first time they're actually seeing each other.” Kravitz smiles. “I've been calling them the Raven and the Ram, after their marks.”

 

“What is it with you and Ravens, huh?”

 

Kravitz laughs. “Guess it's just one more cosmic joke.”

 

He hadn't meant for quite so much honesty to slip into that throwaway phrase, but it's out there nonetheless.

 

Taako's quiet as their food arrives and they dig in. By the time he responds, Kravitz is halfway towards a delicious food coma.

 

“You'll find them.”

 

Kravitz hums around a mouthful of food, questioning.

 

“Your soulmate,” Taako says. He's shooting for encouraging, Kravitz thinks, but his tone lands somewhere in the realm of forlorn. “You'll find them. You, uh--you deserve it, you know? With all the work you put in finding other people's.”

 

It's on the tip of Kravitz's tongue to say that he stopped looking for his own soulmate a long time ago. But instead he just says, “Yeah. Someday.”

 

* * *

 

 _For as long as Kravitz has known Taako - through college and culinary school and now into their first exposure to the “real world” - Taako has had Lup. Seeing them in the same place together just makes sense, because for years they've been inseparable. More than once they've referred to themselves as_ literal _soulmates, as if by virtue of being twins their souls were entwined from birth. And they're not wrong: early research into the science behind soulmates proved that it's not just about romantic love, although that's the most prominent. It's love of all kinds, between family, between friends. It represents an unshakeable bond, one that can't be seen but is visible nonetheless - if you’re paying attention - in the way people interact with each other._

 

_First and foremost, Taako has Lup, who seems to be the only kind of soulmate that matters to him, as far as Kravitz can tell._

 

_And then, Lup has Barry._

 

_They used to tease her about the Erlenmeyer flask on her left arm back in college, saying that the poor nerd it belongs to must have the alcohol that Lup's going to drink out of it for his mark. But instead, Barry's got a Bunsen burner, cranked up to full blast, and with it he sets Lup alight._

 

_Kravitz has seen soulmates meet before, of course - several times in fact, at the Database his parents started, although his favorite will always be the one where Magnus and Julia quite literally ran into each other on the street, nearly getting into a screaming match on the sidewalk before realizing that their hammer and tongs fit together perfectly._

 

_But Barry and Lup? It's like watching a bomb go off. And Kravitz only looks away once: when he realizes Taako is no longer standing next to him at the checkout line, and sees his massive, messy blonde bun sticking up over the painted grocery window ads, pacing back and forth on the sidewalk outside._

 

_If Lup is alight, then Taako is adrift. And there’s only so much Kravitz can do to keep him from drowning._

 

_He smoothes over arguments, apologizes to Barry when Taako’s words turn barbed instead of simply sarcastic, makes excuses to Lup when she calls asking where he’s been all night. Kravitz has no idea, but he tells her Taako was with him. He’s not sure how successful he is; he can hear the same worry in her tone that he can hear in his own._

 

* * *

 

Kravitz pays for their lunch, and Taako kisses him goodbye at the door - first on the cheek, and then, after a moment’s hesitation, on the lips. Lingering, tentative, and over too soon.

 

They’ve been here so many times before. Kravitz wishes it didn’t have to feel like his heart is shattering every single time.

 

“We should hang after the dinner rush,” Taako says as they part. “If you’re not busy. You could tell me how that video call goes.”

 

Kravitz is nodding before he’s even consciously made a decision, because he’s never been very good at saying no to Taako.

 

“Let me know when you get home, I’ll come to your place.”

 

Taako smiles. Kravitz wonders if that simple curl of his lips will ever stop making him feel like he’s cultivated something precious, like having the opportunity to cause that expression will make being dead tired tomorrow morning so, so worth it.

 

Kravitz heads back to work and tries to put Taako out of his mind, which is no easy feat. Luckily, he has a lot to do to prepare for his call in a few hours, and he throws himself into his research, outlining each of the soulmates’ personalities and temperaments based on their responses to the Database Welcome Survey and their social media posts, making a list of guiding questions. This is always his favorite part of the job, aside from actually watching soulmates meet: this careful balancing of these separate lives, these separate souls, helping them to find the parts of each other that will turn their bond from something determined by fate to a love of their own making.

 

After all, he knows better than anyone that having a soulmate doesn’t automatically guarantee you a happily ever after.

 

The video call goes amazingly well. He nails down which of them is the Raven (Sloane) and which is the Ram (Hurley) just in time to keep from making a fool of himself. He only gets through a few of the questions on his list before it becomes clear that theirs is a case where he’s mostly useless. From the moment they see each other, Hurley and Sloane are enamored, stumbling over their words, trying to ask too many questions in too little time. Eventually, Kravitz stops them, laughing, and suggests that they continue this conversation - just the two of them - in person. There’s a resort destination just about equidistant from the two of them, he tells them, a town called Goldcliff that’s a popular spot for vacationing soulmates.

 

“Send me the dates you’re available,” he says, “and I’ll make the arrangements. There’s an inn just off the town square that offers a discount to our clients, and I’m told the cherry blossom tree at the center of it blooms all year round. It should be quite lovely.”

 

Hurley’s positively beaming, and Sloane says, “Thank you, Kravitz. This is all so… incredible.”

 

“It’s awesome!” Hurley says. “I’ve been looking forward to meeting my soulmate ever since I was a kid, I can’t believe it’s finally happening.” Kravitz wonders if Hurley catches the pleased little smile that crosses Sloane’s face at that.

 

“I never really believed I would meet my soulmate,” Sloane says, looking slightly wistful as she stares at the corner of her screen that Hurley must occupy. “It seemed so impossible. But it’s… it’s a gift, isn’t it? To know that someone is meant for you? This is all so fast, but… I don’t think I could ever give up this opportunity, now that I _know.”_

 

Something clenches painfully in Kravitz’s chest, and he goes through the motions of the end of the call, hoping Hurley and Sloane won’t notice his sudden lack of enthusiasm.

 

He stays at the office longer than he should, waving off Raven and Istus’s concerns as they leave for the day, sending off an email to his contact in Goldcliff and updating his case notes. He loses track of time scouring the Database for his next potential clients, and by the time he looks up again, the office is dark but for his desk and the Neverwinter city lights streaming in through the windows. A glance at his phone shows that he still has about two hours until Taako might be finishing up at the restaurant. But he doesn’t think he can wait anymore.

 

There are words that Kravitz has never dared say to Taako. Some days they’re closer to the surface than others, but today they’re sitting on the tip of his tongue ready to spring forth, rising up in him like an unstoppable wave. He’s not sure he can stop them from coming out the moment he sees Taako.

 

He’s not sure he _wants_ to stop them, this time.

 

Kravitz taps out a quick text and hits send before his better instincts can kick in.

 

* * *

 

_One night, a few months after Lup and Barry met, there’s a knock on Kravitz’s apartment door. He almost doesn’t hear it over the pouring rain outside, and when he answers it he’s not surprised that the person on the other side is dripping on his welcome mat._

 

_He’s also not surprised that it’s Taako._

 

_Neither of them cross the threshold immediately, separated by a few inches that might as well be a canyon. And then Kravitz opens his arms, and Taako doesn’t hesitate to fall into them. Cold water seeps into Kravitz’s clothes almost immediately, but he doesn’t let go for a long time, just runs a hand through Taako’s damp hair, gently pulling out the tangles._

 

_Eventually, Taako says, “This is the worst wet t-shirt contest I’ve ever been to.”_

 

_Kravitz snorts. “Someone should complain to the organizer.”_

 

_He gets Taako changed into a warm pair of his clothes and sits him down on the couch, letting old reruns play in the background as he helps towel dry his hair. About halfway through the second episode, on the tail end of an obnoxious laugh track, Taako says, “What’s the point of soulmates if they can be taken away from you?” Then, with a snarl, “What’s the point of them at all?”_

 

_Kravitz tosses the towel on the floor and starts braiding Taako’s hair. “You haven’t lost Lup, you know. People can have more than one soulmate.”_

 

_“Did I ask for a blurb from the Database brochure?” Taako’s shoulders are tense, his words low and sharp. And then he deflates, slumping back against Kravitz and making it impossible for him to continue braiding, and mutters, “Sorry.”_

 

_Kravitz slides his arms around Taako’s waist and holds him close, his heart aching at the easy comfort as much as at Taako’s words._

 

_“It might be weird for a while,” he says quietly, and Taako shivers in his arms even though he doesn't seem to be cold anymore. “But she'll always be your sister.”_

 

_“Yeah. I'm--I know it seems like I'm not happy for her, but I am. Or at least I'm trying to be. Just--it used to be us against the world, and now it's not.”_

 

_Kravitz sighs. “I'm sure it must feel different, but… Taako, you've had family besides Lup for a long time now, you know that right? Merle and Magnus and Julia, Ren at the restaurant, that kid you won't admit that you're mentoring--”_

 

_“That's a privileged secret--”_

 

_“Carey and Killian, Lucretia--”_

 

_“You.”_

 

_Kravitz’s arms tighten around him. “Yeah. You've always got me, Taako.”_

 

_Taako's quiet for a long time, ostensibly watching the show, but Kravitz thinks he's probably dozing off instead._

 

_And then he murmurs, “I don't deserve you.”_

 

* * *

 

The new kid working the host stand at Taako’s restaurant - Kravitz thinks his name is Joaquin - has only been there for a few weeks, but already recognizes Kravitz on sight, waving him back towards the kitchen with barely a glance up from his seating chart. Kravitz isn’t sure what this says about him, but it’s probably not good.

 

Sizzle It Up is eclectic in the same way that Taako is: a collection of colors and decor that shouldn’t go together, arranged in such a manner that it somehow makes perfect sense. Where some restaurants might have an open window to the kitchen, Taako has a veritable stage where his guests can watch the magic happen. It’s always a treat, getting to watch him. He becomes a different version of himself when he cooks - focused, passionate, his natural flair turned up to eleven. Kravitz isn’t sure if anyone else sees it, the way Taako pours every once of love he possesses into each dish, but he does. It’s incredible to witness.

 

Part of the spectacle is what Taako calls the VIP section - a row of cushioned stools pulled up to the long bar that separates the kitchen from the front of the house. The best view in the whole place, Taako always says, but they’re empty now, this close to closing time. Taako’s back is to him, chopping something diligently at the prep station, but the scrape of the chair across the floor as Kravitz sits down makes Taako’s ears perk up.

 

“Got your text,” he calls over his shoulder, and Kravitz can just barely see the edge of a grin on his face. “Just couldn’t stay away from me, huh?”

 

“Something like that.”

 

“Well, I’ve got a couple more orders to finish up, but it’s been a slow night. I suppose I can knock off early, just for you.” Taako tosses him a wink as he crosses the kitchen to the stove, where a pot of something that’s probably delicious is bubbling away.

 

Kravitz swallows thickly. “I don’t want to make you close early…”

 

“No worries, my dude.” Taako stirs the contents of the pot and then pulls out his tasting spoon, giving a satisfied nod at the flavor. “Hey, so how’d that video chat go? They gonna make a cheesy romcom outta this one?”

 

“Possibly,” Kravitz says with a laugh. “It went very well. They’re meeting up in Goldcliff next month. Hardly needed my help at all, really.”

 

Taako shrugs, turning his attention to plating up a couple of delicious-looking pasta dishes, topping it off with the sauce. “Their loss.”

 

And Kravitz has no idea how he does that, just slips those small, inexplicable bits of affection into an otherwise normal conversation as if they don’t mean anything at all. Fragments of truth that so often get distorted by Taako’s carefully crafted persona.

 

“Yeah, I suppose.”

 

Taako picks up his finished plates, and much to Kravitz’s surprise, drops one of them off in front of Kravitz before taking the other to the service window.

 

“Taako…”

 

“Don’t _Taako_ me, you definitely didn’t stop for dinner on the way from the office.” When Kravitz doesn’t disagree, Taako raises one delicate eyebrow. “House special. There’ll be leftovers anyway.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

* * *

 

_Opening night at Taako's new restaurant is a classy affair, with a guest list that includes more bloggers and reporters than actual guests. Kravitz stands off to the side with the rest of Taako's family, drinking champagne and making small talk with Lup and Barry, the latter of whom looks entirely out of his depth and sticks to Lup's side like glue. Even though they've been together for two years now, Barry still looks at her like she personally hung all the stars in his sky. Lup sips her water and laughs at one of his dumb jokes, and Kravitz thinks that they might be the best kind of soulmates - the kind who are exactly what the other needs, without even trying._

 

_Taako's making laps around the restaurant, answering question after question with an easy charm that makes Kravitz content to simply watch him in his element. He gestures in their direction sometimes, but Kravitz can't hear what he’s being asked - most of them are about his upbringing with Lup and how he learned to cook, he assumes. Taako spends just enough time with each of them before moving on, but Kravitz knows it must be exhausting for him._

 

_He's so, so proud of Taako. There will be time to tell him that later, but for now it's a warm swell in his chest that only brightens as Taako's circuit around the room brings him closer to Kravitz._

 

_“Taako!” says a portly older man as Taako sweeps gracefully in their direction. “Steve Johnson, Fantasy Times.”_

 

_“Ah yes, the Times,” Taako says, with no small amount of delight. Their weekly column about Neverwinter’s foodie scene is legendary. “Lovely to meet you. Have you tried the macarons?”_

 

_Steve Johnson blinks bemusedly. “Not yet.”_

 

_“Better get on that, they're going fast! I suppose you have some questions for me?”_

 

_“Er… yes. Just one, actually, since I don't believe I've heard anyone ask yet.” He taps a button on his phone and holds it up to record Taako's answer. “Taako, what's your motivation? Opening a place like this in Neverwinter isn’t easy, and comes with a lot of great competition.” He chuckles to himself. “Got a soulmate backing you up?”_

 

_It's so quick that Kravitz would have missed it if he hadn't been watching Taako so intently. Taako's eyes flick in his direction, and for just a moment, he looks… wistful. Melancholic. His mouth sets in a firm line, and then it's over._

 

_Taako turns a brilliant smile on Steve Johnson and says, “Don't need one, my dude. Taako's good on his own. And if you try those macarons, you'll find out why!”_

 

* * *

 

Taako's apartment is only a few blocks from the restaurant, so they decide to walk. There's a tension between them, like the unsettling calm before a storm breaks. One that's been a long time coming.

 

Kravitz just hopes that nothing else will break with it.

 

Taako kicks the door closed behind them and toes off his shoes with a relieved sigh.

 

“Wine?” he says, not waiting for a response before he heads into the kitchen. Kravitz follows him, leaning up against the bar as Taako fills two glasses - red for Kravitz, white for himself.

 

Kravitz clinks their glasses together and says, “To surviving another day.”

 

Taako snorts. “Speak for yourself, I'm _thriving.”_

 

“Yeah, I suppose you are.” Kravitz can't help the way he smiles, then: full of pride and love and all the other things he feels when he sees Taako. Maybe too much of that shows on his face, because Taako sets down his wine glass with a deliberate _thunk_ without even taking a sip and stares at him over the bar, his jaw set.

 

“Taako…”

 

“Listen, Krav, we have to--we have to stop this.”

 

Kravitz doesn't need to ask for clarification. He knows what _this_ is, this unspoken arrangement, this pseudo-relationship they've had since college; or rather, he doesn't know _exactly,_ and that's always been their biggest problem.

 

He takes a deep, fortifying drink of wine before setting down his glass too.

 

“Don't--don't do this, Taako.”

 

“I don't know how this works, okay, but I know that… you deserve more than I can give you.” Taako's staring just over his shoulder, not quite able to meet his eyes. “And it's--it’s selfish of me to keep this going when you have a soulmate out there.”

 

He memorized this beforehand, Kravitz thinks. Maybe even got Lup to help him with a script. It sounds more like her than it does him.

 

“Since when have you cared about being selfish?” Kravitz asks, and it's a low blow, maybe, but so is what Taako's doing.

 

Taako does look at him then, a wry smile on his face. “Can't even let me out with a little token dignity, huh?” His hands clench into fists on the counter. “Does it count as a break-up if there's not really anything to break?”

 

“Fuck you, Taako.” He flinches, but Kravitz doesn't let up. “Did you really think I'd still be with you, doing whatever it is we've been doing for all this time, if I wasn't exactly where I wanted to be?”

 

Taako swallows audibly, and shoots for cavalier when he says, “Wow, no commitment issues with you, huh? Bet your soulmate will love that--”

 

“It's you, Taako.”

 

The words are out of his mouth before he can second-guess them, hanging in the air between them, frozen. And he's terrified of whatever might happen next, of the way Taako stares at him like he's never seen him before, but at least… at least he finally said it.

 

“What,” Taako says flatly.

 

“I don't have to look for my soulmate. It's you. It's _always_ been you.”

 

“But I've… I've seen your soul mark, it's a--a fucking cat or something…”

 

“It's a mongoose. For that time we went to that special event at the zoo? And they let you hold one, remember?” Kravitz smiles slightly at the memory. Often a soul mark is a representation of a person, but sometimes it's a moment - a point of no return, of inevitably. For Kravitz, it was the moment he realized he would do everything in his power to make Taako smile. “You were so happy.”

 

“Krav, that was… that was in sophomore year. Have you known this _whole time?”_

 

Kravitz nods, once. Taako makes a sound he's never heard before - frustrated, disbelieving, and full of rage. But his voice is eerily, dangerously calm.

 

“You've gotta be fucking kidding me. What, were you just never gonna tell me? Was this some kind of weird soulmate experiment?”

 

“No, of course not--”

 

“Then what the _fuck.”_

 

Kravitz sighs. “Taako, you made it perfectly clear, for years, that you wanted nothing to do with the idea of soulmates. I should have told you, but… I'm sorry. I thought if I did I would just push you away, because that wasn't what you wanted.” He leans across the bar then, as close as he can get, so that Taako won't look away. So that he knows. “And I was… maybe not _fine_ with how things were, but… Taako, I loved you anyway. I didn't need a mark to tell me that. And I just assumed you didn't care who your soulmate was.”

 

“No! I didn't!” Taako throws up his hands, laughing bitterly. “And yeah, I guess that one’s on me, but of course I didn't care who they were! Why should I care about some dude I've never met?” Another laugh, quieter and tinged with regret. “If they weren't _you,_ then what the fuck was the point?”

 

There's a silent, charged moment, on which everything hinges, and Kravitz is almost afraid to make it fall in the wrong direction. But then he rounds the bar, sick of all this space between them, of the space that's always been between them. He asks, softly, “Can I…?” And Taako moves to meet him in response, sinking heavily, gratefully into his arms.

 

“You're a dumbass,” Taako says, muffled where his face is pressed into Kravitz's shoulder.

 

Kravitz chuckles. “Yeah. I'm sorry.”

 

“It's okay, I am too.”

 

“Sorry? Or a dumbass?”

 

Taako pokes him sharply in the side. “Hey, watch it, I'm still pissed at you. Almost _ten years,_ Krav, what the _fuck.”_

 

“I can't believe you never _checked._ Even if you didn't want to ask me, you know Istus loves you, she would have given you a login for free…” Kravitz pulls away slightly so he can see Taako's face. “But I guess… you didn't have a reason to. If all you wanted was me.”

 

Taako's cheeks go a delightful shade of red almost immediately. “Wipe that stupid smug look off your face, Krav,” he says. “Or I'll do it for you.”

 

Kravitz grins. “Go right ahead.”

 

Taako rolls his eyes and tugs him into a rough kiss that quickly turns aching and sweet. And they've kissed before, so many times, but never like this - with the weight of promise behind it, rather than a twinge of desperation, a desire for something they couldn't have. It says, there will be more kisses after this one, more than they could ever count.

 

It says, they are no longer alone, orbiting each other but never meeting.

 

It says, I _know_ you.

 

Kravitz thinks this might be what it feels like when the people he matches up in the Database meet for the first time. Maybe they're a bit late, but he can't find it in himself to regret all the time in between. He's loved Taako for a decade, and he will love him for several more.

 

“Hey,” Kravitz murmurs when they part, “can I see it?” Taako raises an eyebrow, smirking. “Oh, come on, Taako.”

 

“Yeah, sure,” he says, laughing. “Maybe you can tell me what it means. Even knowing it's you, it's kinda… and anyway, we went over that whole me not caring thing.”

 

Taako turns to the side, tugs the hem of his shirt up and the band of his pants slightly down, and there it is. On his hip, just barely visible against his skin - easily missed, easily forgotten - is a long, thin sliver of gold. For a moment, Kravitz is just as confused as Taako. It's familiar, but he can't figure out why…

 

And then he realizes he's seen it before. Every day, in fact, on the header of the Soulmate Database. A single golden needle, minus its haystack. A symbol of who he is and what he does, what he believes in, but also, a moment. This moment, right now, when he is finally, _finally_ found.

 

The look on Taako's face when he pulls up the site on his phone and explains it to him is, he thinks, something he'll never forget.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Day 3 of Taakitz Week - "This is a terrible idea and I love you."

Taako is definitely not snooping, thanks very much, and any implications to the contrary will be met with severe derision and possibly a few heavy objects flung across the room.

 

Kravitz had been explicitly okay with Taako using his computer while he's at work. It's just that the little notification about his Fantasy Dropbox being almost full, and wouldn't he like to upgrade?, keeps popping up in the bottom corner, and it's driving Taako slightly insane. 

 

They've been living together for several months now, and if he's being honest with himself - something he normally tries to avoid, but hey, he's getting better at it - they've been some of the best months of his life. Not to brag or anything, but he's pretty damn good at being a soulmate once he actually starts giving a shit. 

 

Besides, it's easy to love Kravitz. It always has been.

 

Maybe that should have been a sign. Lup certainly spent several hours gloating when he first told her, saying she knew the whole time and did he somehow miss the big neon heart that lit up over Kravitz's head every time he looked at Taako? The final straw had been when she turned to Barry and said, “Bear, I'm so glad it didn't take  _ us _ 50 damn years to figure this out, can you imagine?” And Barry, the  _ nerd, _ had just smirked and said that some people take longer arriving at the truth than others.

 

_ Assholes. _ His family is the  _ worst. _

 

And here's the thing: Taako knows how to respect boundaries. He may not always chose to do so, but that doesn’t change the fact that he knows. And after 10 years with Kravitz and another one  _ with _ him, boundaries are pretty nonexistent. Apart from the self-imposed ones that may or may not have kept them apart for a  _ decade. _ He's still a little bitter about that. 

 

So he clicks the notification, so what? Mostly he just wants to make it stop hovering there. How long has Kravitz been ignoring the damn thing anyway? The problem is that clicking it takes him to Kravitz's Fantasy Dropbox, and there's no password on it, just like there hadn't been on his computer. 

 

Because Kravitz trusts him. Even after he tried to break them up. Even after 10 years of bullshit. 

 

Taako sighs. It is definitely not dreamy in any way whatsoever.

 

And the files are just  _ there, _ right? How is he supposed to ignore a folder called “Taako” that's filled with dozens of audio files with dates going all the way back to their college days? He's just a simple chef, okay, there's only so much curiosity he can resist. 

 

He clicks on the latest one - dated two weeks ago and titled “Dawn” - and has a moment of confusion when the player opens but nothing happens. And then he realizes there's the faint sounds of a piano coming from the speakers, that the song builds so slowly that the beginning is barely there at all. 

 

It's… soft. Almost lazy in the way it takes its time, an easy tempo that blooms into a gentle melody and fills him with contentment. It's the kind of song that would be perfect to wake up to, and with a start he realizes that's exactly what it is: a quiet, shared morning, just like the ones they get have on the days Taako doesn’t work the opening shift at the restaurant. 

 

Taako closes that one and quickly clicks on another at random. It’s called “Waves,” and the date puts it a few days after their big beach vacation a few years ago. And this, too, is exactly what he would expect - it’s brighter, more uptempo, and immediately makes him think of sand between his toes and sunshine at his back, of the weekend he’d spent trying to surf and insisting he was going to be a beach bum for the rest of his life.

 

He scrolls all the way back to the beginning. The first few files are untitled, and look to be pretty short - bits of unfinished songs, maybe. He clicks the first one with a title, already smiling, and the room fills with the bubbly, frolicking tones of a song called “Mongoose.” It’s not as polished as the previous two, and grainier; he can hear where Kravitz’s fingers stutter over the keys, where he pauses and starts again, and towards the end, a quiet sigh.

 

There’s just so  _ many. _ And they’re all devoted to him? 

 

“Hatchi matchi,” he mutters. There had been other folders, ones for Raven and Istus, one for Lup and Barry, but… he navigates back to the main folder, and yep, the “Taako” folder is by far taking up the most space in Kravitz’s Fantasy Dropbox. 

 

Taako scrolls to the bottom again, looking at dates this time, and finds one called “Wine” from a little over a year ago. He hesitates, takes his hand off the mouse entirely for a moment before putting it back.

 

“Shit,” he says, and clicks.

 

Almost immediately, the song launches into a tumult of discordant notes that punches the breath out of Taako’s chest. It’s a bit like drowning, the way the music roils around him like the ocean swirling in a hurricane. He aches, listening to it, but he doesn’t stop. It feels exactly like that night did, down to the way his hands start shaking. It hurts to think that all of  _ this _ came from Kravitz, and that he was the inspiration behind it, no matter how much has changed since then. 

 

He doesn’t notice, at first, when it ends.

 

It builds into a loud crescendo, notes crashing into each other until all at once, it stops. There’s absolute silence for a few seconds, during which Taako tries to remember how to breathe, and then the next song starts playing automatically. 

 

He recognizes some of the same chords from the end of “Wine,” but they fade away, slowly, into something gentler. Or, no, Taako realizes: they’re not gone, just quieter, a backdrop that he has to strain to hear. They complement the rest of the song so perfectly as to almost be indistinguishable.

 

And the rest of it is… beautiful. He can almost envision Kravitz’s fingers dancing across the keys, high to low and back again, rising and falling in a way that makes him swallow around the sudden lump in his throat. There’s pure, undeniable  _ love _ in every single measure.

 

He spent so much time, he thinks, denying that he needed a soulmate at all, pretending that he wasn’t missing anything, because who would ever be good enough for Taako? Who could ever be better than the person he already had? So he’s still got a lot of catching up to do when it comes to adjusting to… all of it. To the uncanny way he and Kravitz sometimes move in sync, the way he can guess what Kravitz is going to say before he says it, the way he knows what Kravitz is feeling without ever seeing his face. And they were like that before, to an extent, and really Taako probably should’ve questioned that, probably, but for the last year it’s been so much  _ more. _ Their bond means more than he ever could have guessed. 

 

But despite what he still has to learn, he knows without a doubt that what he’s listening to right now? This is Kravitz’s soul. Tied up, made whole, linked forever with his own. And Kravitz just sat down at a piano one day and  _ played it. _

 

It’s only as the song ends that he notices the title. “Needle.” Because of course it is.

 

Taako goes back to the Fantasy Dropbox and selects all the songs there, copying them into the media player so that he can set them to loop. And then he turns the volume up as high as it will go, wipes away the tears that he’ll never admit to producing from his eyes, and gets to work.

 

* * *

 

The problem with turning the music up so loud, of course, is that Taako doesn’t hear it when the door opens about an hour too early, revealing a slightly-disgruntled Kravitz. But he does notice when it suddenly stops.

 

Taako whips around, flinging a bit of sauce off the end of his wooden spoon onto the wall in his haste, to find Kravitz standing over the computer.

 

“Oh,” Taako says. That’s all he’s got, really. He wasn’t expecting to get caught.

 

Kravitz turns to face him, eyebrow raised in amusement, and opens his mouth to say something. He freezes when he sees the counter. Or rather, doesn’t. Because there’s not much counter left to see under all the dishes Taako has laid out across it. He’s been cooking for hours, and the results are all on display - entrees and sides, the biggest salad he’s ever bothered to make, a three-tiered tray of appetizers, and what probably qualifies as  _ too many _ desserts.

 

“Taako, love, what…”

 

“Okay, see, here’s the thing.” Taako drops the spoon back into the sauce with a  _ plop. _ “Remember how I needed to fill out those forms online to renew the restaurant’s liquor license?”

 

Kravitz nods slowly.

 

“Well, I couldn’t do that, because you had this stupid pop-up on your computer, and so I tried to get rid of it--”

 

“Oh, the Fantasy Dropbox thing, I keep forgetting to--”

 

“And I found  _ those.” _ He gestures at the screen showing all of Kravitz’s recordings. “And then I did  _ this.” _ Another gesture, at the array of food. “Because  _ fuck you.” _

 

Kravitz blinks in confusion. “I don’t…” He pauses, squinting at one of the tureens. “Is that lobster bisque? And… are those lemon bars? Those are my--”

 

“Favorites, yeah. All of ‘em. Hope you’re hungry, you sentimental bastard.”

 

Kravitz looks stunned for a moment, speechless. He seems to be having a hard time processing what he’s seeing, which, that’s fair. Taako’s still working through the hell that is his emotions after listening to just how much Kravitz loves him for hours on end.

 

And then, Kravitz smirks. 

 

“Pot,” he says, pointing at Taako, and then at himself. “Kettle.”

 

Taako rounds the counter just to kiss that stupid grin off Kravitz’s face, heedless of the hot stove behind him. The sauce will keep for a few minutes. 

 

And anyway, he’s got a lot of lost time to make up for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come chat with me about TAZ on [tumblr](http://malevolentmango.tumblr.com)!

**Author's Note:**

> Come chat with me about TAZ on [tumblr](http://malevolentmango.tumblr.com)!


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